THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 8

“Messy Recourse Goes Into It’s Third Week!”, shouted the Bench Press headlines the next morning.

Then two days later it was: “Randy Jim Keeps Casa Nova”.

“‘And you can keep Hoover, the butler as well!” screamed former Mrs. Hatrack, now Justa Fortune Hunter, “but I’m taking the show fur.’

Now half owner of the half owned by former husband, Randal James Hatrack, of the Lying Lunchman’s Mind, Ms. Hunter has taken a spenthouse suite in Gelt Glowers.”

Ginny Fizz, my granddad’s former weakend nurse from the Iceflow Care Home has moved into Casa Nova with her dog, Dipsy Poodle. to look after him.

Marion Hood is a maid once again.

This morning I noticed a bottle of Niagara,”The Drink That Stops The Falls”, is back on  my granddad’s bedside table.

I still take he and Old Coot to the park but the James Boys aren’t the trouble they use to be.

No more stealing candy from babies while winking at their nurse maids.

Today Randy Jim said to me: “There’s no fire in the farts, my boy, my stomach can’t handle the spices.”

AT HOME WITH HATRACK

 

 

 

 

Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 50

Lee Z. Gladstone now works for Fred A. Dare at Lee Z’s old shop now called Dare Essentials.

He does sales again for Suck-It Up Vacuums and represents Carpet Diem, “The Rugged Floor Covering”.

Gladstone told me, he got cautioned by Constable John for going door-to-door offering ladies half price on his English shag.

Lee Z. and I were sharing a Movie Special at Bunaventure Bakery,”Six Pies And Videotape”, but had to go since I was due at the Iceflow for a visit with Randy Jim and Lee Z. was due back on the streets.

“Theres a world full of suckers just waiting to be licked!” Lee Z. shouted as he banged out the door.

Door To Door

 

Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 48

“She was only a baker’s daughter but oh my how she could move her buns!”

It was Tuesday and I was in Banter’s when Lee Z. Gladstone came through the door.

Jitters the butler had been talking about a small ad in the Bench Press under Jobs Wanted .

“Hey Lee Z.’ I said “I think Tom Peeper is back in town.

Read this: ‘Unemployed voyeur looking for work as a window watcher’ ”

“Boys, things are rocky for the Gladstone” Lee Z. said, totally ignoring the paper business.

“What happened ?” asked Banter.

“Well I was out at the Debunk house, Goblin Gardens, figuring I could get the property off Weir for a song.

But the old fox left, saying his child gives all the business.”

Gladstone At The Debunk House

 

Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary. Page 44

Meanwhile on the deranged where everything was heating up, Princess Tantoes was stalking to the mad movie star.

Holly Bridgeair kept her finger on the trigger hidden in her coiffure, which was wired to her bazookas.

Tantoes asked the actress if she had brought any of her furniture on board?

“Why would I do that?’ asked the erratic Holly.

“So”, said Tantoes “that I could appeal to your vanity.”

“El Guyheed taught us to be above such things.”

But the Princess noticed that every time Popa Rotzzi, The Bench Press photographer, went to take Holly’s picture, she always gave him her best snide.

Flashbulbs And Bombshells

 

Sea Czar Citay: From Here To Infirmary, Page 26

Well, Lil Bowpeep lost her creep and I knew how to fine him.

He occupied a seat next to me in the Duckbill heading home.

I was browsing headlines in the Bench Press:CITY PROSECUTOR, JUSTICE GOLDBRICK, TRIES TO WHIP UP INTEREST IN THE RETURN OF CORPOREAL PUNISHMENT, ZAZA LAPLUME, BURLESQUE PERFORMER, DOING SHOW ON THE HIDEAWHY RENOVATION  UNDER THE NAME DANCING BARE, SKIPS MAHOY’S SEA SHANTY NEARLY TORN APART IN RIP TIDE, and CHICKEN RUSTLERS BREAK INTO EASY PICKENS’ HEN HOUSE [Pickens fears he will never be able to recoup his lose}.

In the Punday Sunnies, King Diamond, Space Ace, his sweetie Queenie Hart and Dr. Spade crash-land on the planet Zongo.

Looks Like The Game Is Up For King Diamond