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Monthly Archives: July 2018

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 6

Yet amidst all the grits and yammer, Eve seemed bored so I told her stories of my add dentures.

I told her about the summer Lord Vain, The Vegetarian Vampire’s uncle Noah, Count of Sham, arrived from Vulgaria and I solved The Mystery Of The Missing False Fangs.

The trip I took to Reclina to try and stop Lazy Boy Slouch from going to the chair.

I thought her radio show needed a few yuks, so I gave her some of  mine.

But Aimee and Delmon were jealous of my wit, telling her that even cows considered puns the lowest form of humour.

And on the show she seemed dogged by a voice that was no longer husky.

michaellewisart

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING FALSE FANGS

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 5

For a couple of weeks we, Aimee the secretary, Delmon Gangtree the show fur, and I went everywhere with her ripeness.

We had drinks at the Manhatted Club in Queensville City.

We had drunks with the Staggers in Port Wine.

We went to fancy halls.

We went to The Basket Ball in Basketune.

We went to The Slow Ball in Reclinea.

We threw out the first umpire in the opening game between The Sea Czar City Togas and The Drunken Louts.

We lost money at the snail races.

We did suppermarket openings, book sightings, and UFO shows.

We guested on Ida Clair’s radio show and The Wide World Of Wood with Uncle Oslo and Walter Ego.

We did a fun razor for a barbershop in Clowntown and a bed-a-fit for Nettles Furniture Store here.

michaellewisart

ON THE TOWN

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 4

I told her that I don’t carry a gun.

She said: “Exactly!”

I told her to be her bodyguard was going to cost her.

But if she crossed my palm, I’d be her date.

……………………………………………………………………………….

When Helen Wheels arrived at work, I told her to pay Usher Falls the rent, work on the prison break files, and in the nail file, put the office clippings, catch up on our index of  hot dog stands, and phone Bob Buoy, the Harbour House bellhop and ask him to feed Kipper, my fish.

Also to pack my wrecksack, looks like I could be gone awhile.

michaellewisart

DRINKING LIKE A FISH

 

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 3

I put “The Big Creep” down when she wafted through the door with enough waft to make a blindman’s nose throw off it’s crutches and smile.

Eve Angelica has a radio show, “Profane Readings Of Sacred Tex”, every sunny mourning right after “The Braising Hussey”.

Her main interest is Male In Money.

She needs enough to build her “For Squares Hostel”.

She has a gossip choir that could give chills to an iceman.

Last I heard she’d been kid-napped.

In fact she always seemed to be kidding about napping.

She claims the last four abductions she had to arrange herself.

In other words, she’s up for grabs.

So I was surprised when she told me she needed someone she could bank on to feel safe.

She needed someone she could walk with, hand in hand, yet still feel harms apart.

I was beginning to feel flattened.

michaellewisart

EVE ANGELICA

 

 

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