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Monthly Archives: August 2017

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 47, FEBRUARY 2, LATER THAT EVENING

I phoned Ruby Gams, the dancing package of Bull’s Eye Cigarettes.

Great, she deigned to see this dog as long as sellavision was the bait.

Me, I couldn’t kibble.

I met Ruby at the Boomtown Bunker (“A Shelter For Every Bomb”) and we’ve been seeing each other off and yawn ever since.

Ruby never appears in public without her costume because she claims she can’t think outside the box.

So there we were in the serpent’s four bits of the Graceless Manor, Ruby and I, Jitters and his main ride Cherry Ott.

I brought a box of cold Schmaltz and a bag of Woodchips (Mesquite Flavour) and we were just smuggling in when suddenly the screen went blank.”

A voice came from the darkness saying: “We interrupt our programming to make this impotent announcement<”

michaelewisart

SERPENT’S QUARTERS

 
 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 46, FEBRUARY 2

Not everyone on Gulp Island has a sellavision.

You need one of Willet Fly’s Surf Bored attachments to bring in anything outside the Bikini Triangle, like “Kookie, Jan And Solly”,or “Lungsmoke”(‘Mr. Killin, Mr. Killin, Patcheye Pete is in Rambler City looking for the man who shot his Iris.’)

We have our own loco shows from Queensville like “Uncle Oslo’s Wide World Of Wood”, or “The Jake Penny Show” (‘Everything is Jake with me, Cleveland!’).

But like most folks we have a hankering for whats not home known.

So when Jitters, the butler, invited me to Graceless Manor, named after J. Morgan Gelt’s first wife, up on Snob Hill, to watch “I Like Juicy-The Madcap Adventures Of Juicy Toot”, I thought why the Nell not!

michaellewisart

A BRANDNEW RUA VACANT

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 45, FEBRUARY 1

Constable John told me this morning, over a Lava Java at Patty’s Cheezy Eats, that the Widow Tree finally barked, naming Neal Eel as her shocking accomplice.

Looks like she will get transplanted to Redlamb while Neal Eel will rewire it.

Pie Annie wants to be on file as visiting him every Saturday with one of her cakes.

The Widow Weed got new clothes.

The Widow Peek got a trip to the hair messer.

Me, after my second bowl of chilli, I got my usual dollar a day and gas.

Thus ended what I call: “A Severe Case Of Whiplash”.

michaellewisart

THE CHEEZY EATS

 

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 44, MARCH 23, ON AND ON

Horace looked thumb stuck.

“Why do you ask that?”

“Because the bondage you were in accord with looks like it fell off the back of Eel’s Electric truck.”

“Mrs. Eel is a business partner” He slithered “thats all.

I just donut want to give my dough to the widows.

I want it to rise.

I’m now part owner of the Bunaventure Bakery.”

“Still” I said, “that must have been quite a shock to Mr. Eel, if he thought someone else was tuning up his Pie Annie

Then there are your widows.”

“Why do you think one of them is a spider?”

“Because” I said, taking my foot off something that had just gone crunch, “I cracked the case and the Widow Tree’s specs are in it!”

michaellewisart

SOMETHG FISHY WITH THE EELS

 

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 43, MARCH 23, GOING ON

I had Stock get the key from Beryl and we unlocked the granddad’s ticker.

Inside we found Horace, bound, no gag.

After I towed the sock out of his yap, he said he’d been clocked from behind.

Claimed he didn’t know who gave him his premature coffin fit.

Now it was common college that Horace had been cultivating the Widow Weed because she was a dandy lie on. the Widow Peek because she was quite the looker, and the Widow Tree because she made him feel like a sapling.

I had a hunch and it wasn’t on my back.

“How long”, I asked,”have you been tickling the old Pie Annie?”

michaellewisart

BOUND, NO GAG

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 42, THURSDAY MARCH 23 CONTINUED

“Because the old Whipster owed us kale” was the Stock answer when I asked him.

“Yards of kale and he put his shut up as the clatter role.

Last night we get a call right from the Horace’s mouth saying he was cashing in his tips and we should come plunder the wonder.”

I decided I wanted to see this treasure jest, so had Stock take me to the basement stare.

I eyeballed it all, the bare skinned rug,the cold-stuffed up trophy heads, and even the rows of boats.

There was Horace’s granddaddy’s clock, though you couldn’t tell the chime because it stood hock still.

That struck me as odd because Horace always had Phileas Fobb, the clock doc, keep the hickory in dickory due.

michaelewis

THE CLOCK DOCK

 
 
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