RSS

Author Archives: michaellewisart

About michaellewisart

I am an artist, cartoonist, collector of hats, books, comics, toys, and movies. I am a big Film Noir and Hardboiled Fiction Fan. I am a fumbling memoirist (its hard when your my age and the memory is shot), an inveterate punsters and a computer illiterate (but doing the better). I've worked in the social services for some 33 years. I grew up in Las Vegas but have lived in Canada most of my life. I like Randy Newman, the Coen Brothers and Raymond Chandler. I like Thomas Hart Benton and Otto Dix. My mindscape is decorated mostly by the 1930s and the 1940s. I enjoy meeting new people, even when I've met them before.

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 26

When I got to the Superclub (“Where Swells Rub Up Against Gunsters”) I spied, by the badstand ,two shifty workers.

One was Hap Nelson, Grandtheft Otto’s ex pinched muscle, alias Jimmy The Reek and next to the Reek was little Mr. Scupper, late of the Dolly Roger.

They both looked flush with funs.

When they headed for the storage room, I was unlike a bear, not fur behind.

What I saw when I booted open the door, was Tall, unable to come to the phone because she was all tied up.

I also saw a sword and a pistole pointed my direction.

“Whats wrong, Glumshoe, asked Hap, “gat got your tongue?

Everyone knows you don’t carry, planning to pun us to death?”

I started shaking like a martini.

Then the lights went out.

michaellewisart

NOT A GOOD SCENE

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY,VOL. 8, PAGE 25

Sheila Hack cabbed me out to Dr. Spot’s Vet-Run  Erie Clinic, after I stopped Helen Wheels in the hall to tell her where I was headed.

I asked Spot if he’d had any two legged clients looking for relief from itchy trigger fingers.

Oddly enough, yes. he told me, too suspicious masked fooligans, sans pet, had been by earlier.

One was chewing Dark Tar Gum, and the other vandal had a handle of steal.

“A little fellow”, the doctor told me,” kinda the size of the Foodfull grocer.”

I patted Timex, the watch dog. on his face and told Sheila to drive me to Henchman’s Music Academy and Dime-A-Dance in the  old Row’s Cannery building.

michaellewisart

HENCHMAN’S

 

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 24

No one knows who does The Good Knight on radio.

There is no credit given and the actor always broadcasts under a cloak and swagger

The Reptile Revenger is an idle to lazy guys like me.

He’s a man of mystery, not misery.

Social tights are always heaving their cleavage in his general direction, while the gals I meet cleave to the heavage of me in any direction.

He  hangs out at the Manhatted Club.

I hang out at Patty’s Cheezy Eats.

The Good Knight always knows what to do to fix things.

While I haven’t a glue.

It doesn’t matter that Sir Pent is friction, he’s still an itch I want to scratch.

In fact I realized I felt scratchy all over.

The cat!

Holy Gail!

That flea-ridden object of my quest was still in my fate and had just given me an irritating idea.

michaellewisart

GETTING THAT SINKING FEELING

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.8, PAGE 23

Yep, there I was seeing stars but no feature and whoever punched my ticket was long gone.

We’d followed instructions, gone out to Creepy Wallow, home to the Headless Oarsman, and next thing I know I’m beached, sans client, client’s car and my “just a scratch” came from a cat out of the bag on my chest.

I was going to stalk home but  not feeling very sweetish, went to the office instead.

I got there just in time to knob the macaroni and hear: “Stepping directly out of the pages of Sleet and Hale’s best selling magazine, it’s time for radio’s favourite avenger, ‘Sir Pent, The Good Knight, Master of The Cult O’, as we hear him hiss: ‘Good night, sleep tight and don’t let the bullets bite!

Brewhahaha!’

Its after the switching hour where we find Sebastian Pent in his nest, far underground, when Strike, his red right hand, appears.

‘Siren Whale, the Commissioner’s daughter is here to see you, sir.’

“Quick Strike, help me rearrange my  hood.

For the sake of her sanity, she must never see my face!'”

michaellewisart

PULP FRICTION

 

 

 

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 22

The Odds couple were intent on giving me a shore thing for Saturday’s submarine races.

Jackie asked me if I was still an old dog looking for some heavy petting.

I told him I hadn’t had too much truck with the pickups of late.

It seems they are looking for more than a guy suffering from trench coat and mothy pockets.

I told him I needed a job more than a Jane.

Jackie said thats just it; his kissing cousin, Tall Odds, needed a private guy to accompany her to a sea clued spot with some handsome money to buy back her flea line from some lazy cat nappers.

“Oh no”, I said, “I know my Phillip Friday.

The chump ends up with a lump and no cat,  no client, and no funs.”

But I heard my bank account take to coffin, so told Jackie, I’d at least,  hear his cousin out.

I told him to have her meet me at the cafe downstairs for a hunch.

I’d ordered my usual verbal salad and a debone steak, when she rolled in, a queen with no derby.

Jackie hadn’t been kidding, his cousin was a TKO in the first round.

I knew I was already a chump with a lump.

michaellewisart

ORDERING SOMETHING NOT ON THE MENU

 

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 21

It had been an exciting “phew” days, so I decided to finish THE LONG GOOD LIE before starting on PEEK HOUSE.

I opened it up to: “His name was Toady LaFrogg and he use to run boot liquor across the pond for a fat cat named Scratchface.

That is until one night when the scarred hair ball forgot to check the weather report, and walked out into a hail of lead. without his ironed umbrella

In those days Toady’s main squeeze was a little tart called Cherry. but here he was with Scratchface’s maul, Tabby Furr, a real minx, dropped on him like a coat he stole and asking him not to answer when…”

The phone bell rang.

It was Shifty Gears at the U Auto Care, to tell me he’d finally figured out the problem with my Keister.

He said it had been hidden from him all this time until he changed the incogneeto.

No sooner had I let the phone have a hangup than the door started knocking.

It was Jackie Odds with his race track trout, Fisheye.

michaellewisart

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 20

Minute Soda Chatz arranged the floating crap game in the Q Pool at the Wolf Bay Wreck Centre.

In a slippery move on Fast Teddy’s part,  he tried to rattle the Kid into throwing snake eyes instead of dice but Minute Soda soon put an end to that.

The game went on all mourning and threw the night until it dawned on us that Arch Bishop had the treasure stove, I had a tidy admission and, in a smart move, the pirates were given the gate.

(Branding Bird Gate, which Bishop had Frank Bellows, the blacksmith make, has been stolen once by Blindman Buff, a second time by Captain Belay Pinn and a third time by French Kris himself.)

It was obvious that to the pirates, Bishop’s gate was quite the price.

Giving it to Tatters would insure the raids ceasing and take some of the burn out of loosing the stove.

The gate now stands at the entrance of  the newly created  Madman Glen Gulf Course outside of Torntoga.

michaellewisart

AT THE Q POOL

 
 
%d bloggers like this: