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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 27

Bendar Dundat, regression therapist and arch conservative, was found conserving arches from all over Sea Czar City in his debasement.

It was his seat that was sat on by Nobull Savage, Meadow Racetrack owner and head of the Cree Tan Tobacco Company.

Janitor, Ulysses Broom, turned out to be a closet 8er and not, when confronted, the least bit sweepish about it.

Secondhand Stan, the shop keeper, got Broom’s seat, after the brush off.

Oliver Fine, former owner of Fine’s Kettle Of Fish, got B.B. Wolf, the banker’s, goat.

Bertha DeBlooz finally ousted the Reverent Mr. Amos Rant over religious prosecution.

Bombay Sinj, the fire chief, was still hot with the voters.

Dr. Spot was Johnny on.

Dick Swab cleaned up.

Usher Falls stayed upright.

Gangster yes man, Hammond “Notting Ham” Rye lost his sheriff’s badge to Doghouse Brown”s brother, E. Vic Brown.

Mayor Major Miner somehow came back for a fourth term.

His son, “Figgy” Newton Miner, ran his father’s complain on his platform of closing Baba Alley, if only someone can find it.

“Baba Alley, you ever been there?” Lee Z. asked.

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THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 26

I’d just got to the fair and was relishing a footlong with cat soup and army muster at the Hot Hog stand when I heard: “She was only a rope maker’s daughter but boy did she know how to tie one on”.

Lee Z. Gladstone ordered a ham burglar with all the trimmings, or as the menu calls it: “Cheese it, its the crops!”.

We grabbed a table and shot the goose soup over the recent election.

Despite the recount, due to the voters list containing names such as A, Non Amous and Suta Nimm, it looks like the outcome will stand.

It was Scoop DeJour’s article:, “Crumbs In The Cookie Jar, Whose Been Dipping Into The Public Funs?”, that sent everybody back to the ballad boxes to sing again.

The huge sandal that booted some of the council out the door involved phone bills to call girls, playoffs in hotel hobbies, 8ers in Haul Street pockets and contracts awarded to the highest bitter.

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HOT HOG STAND

 

 

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 25

There will be the usual sack race for the recently fired.

The crowning of Miss Main Squeeze at the Juice Right Pageant.

Boris, the vulgar boatman, will again take on both Cuss Plucker, the Blunder Busman and the Reverent Mr. Amos Rant in the mule  cussing contest.

(Last year the air was so blue, they had to call it a draw when the animals fainted from embarrassment.)

Bango the Balloon Clown, is running the bomb toss.

Ranger Roy is giving demonstrations on the dangers of the pool sharks known as Chaws,  little nippers who go after the toes of of both municipal and backyard swimmers.

Easy Perkins is bringing his champion turkey, Peach Gobbler, his prize winning hen, Coopsa Daisy, and his ash ram, Sooty, to the Life Shock Show.

Colonel Corny Cobb Web’s Coochie-Coo Tent will premiere ZaZa LaPlume, the fan dancer’s new act where instead of just feathers, she uses the whole bird and bills herself LaPlume the Flamingo Dancer.

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BIRDS OF A FEATHER

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 24

As Confusion, our ornamental philosopher says: “Time is a funny thing, but its no laughing matter”.

It’s Fall Back Time again and the True Eds were up all night rearranging the Stone Hinge.

My granddad turns 148 and Albrite Winestein, the Grapes Of Math professor, says that outside the Bikini Triangle, old Randy Jim would have been dead twice over.

Winestein has a theory about relatives, the fact our seasons run backwards and how time goes quickly when your young but slows down the older you get.

The Fair To Midland is in Fall swing.

This year Lady Vain, the vegetarian vampire, will be manning the Hissing Booth.

Frankie Rummoli is back with his Used Gamble Lot.

Jackie Odds is running the Carousel Races.

Simon Sample, the pieman from Smother Goose Landing, is bringing the In Your Face edibles.

Doghouse Brown is barking the Snide Show.

Miss Prim has allowed her on-ice caveman boyfriend, Og, to stubble up again as Pop Sickle and enter the Rastling Ring against last year’s chump, Twotired Housecart.

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MIDWAY DOWN THE SNIDE SHOW

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 20

“Fact is”, Kay continued “I now own the Mall.

We’ve got The Big Box Store, ‘Your one stop shop for all your large box needs’, The Fabricator, ‘With more bolts than just out of the blue’, a Gape, a Loots, and a Barsucks.

I’m telling you this because to Omitt, nothing on Gulp Island should exist.

He blames it’s decanted ways for all his whines.

I fear he has already started blowing things up with the Electra Complex.

You must understand his actions do not represent Muslins.

We are a gentle people.

We worship cloth and bowling for Alley’s sake!”

“A Muslin situation”, I told her, “should be handled by the millinery.”

But Kay Sarong-Sarong said that could fabricate a war.

She’d heard about my involvement with the move against the 8ers by all the religious leaders and of my dealings with the Grime Lords at The New Troll Hotel in Smother Goose Landing, so she’d decided I was tailor made for the job.

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THE HANSWOOD MALL

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7. PAGE 17

Hitch Ike kept mumbling about his delirious treatments and the fear that the Plod People were after him.

We pulled into an oddly quite Motalk Gas Station on the way back to Sea Czar City.

It was then I noticed a blank eyed character staggering through the breaking glass of the station’s door.

He was drinking from a sick pack of motor oil.

“That’s Gaffer, one of my crew!”, Hitch yelled.

“I told you they were near.

Drive like a gnat out of Nell!

They’re here! They’re hear!”

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GASSED UP

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.7, PAGE 13

How long they stayed in the land of milk and honeys, Hitch Ike had no idea but all the while he was taking reals of film.

Meena the swinger, Meena on the horn of her horse, Dilemma, Meena poolside drinking brown cows.

Hitch also began to notice that Rib Lee seemed desirous of rolls in the royal hey.

For Hitch Ike it was Kipling thinking that the man who would be king could ever be his adventurous pal Rib Lee.

He also noticed that his film crew seemed to be drinking milk with every meal.

Their eyes were getting that cheesy blue look.

They had become listless, carrying no pencils or paper and plod like.

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MEENA WITH HER DELEMMA

 

 

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