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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.7, PAGE 13

How long they stayed in the land of milk and honeys, Hitch Ike had no idea but all the while he was taking reals of film.

Meena the swinger, Meena on the horn of her horse, Dilemma, Meena poolside drinking brown cows.

Hitch also began to notice that Rib Lee seemed desirous of rolls in the royal hey.

For Hitch Ike it was Kipling thinking that the man who would be king could ever be his adventurous pal Rib Lee.

He also noticed that his film crew seemed to be drinking milk with every meal.

Their eyes were getting that cheesy blue look.

They had become listless, carrying no pencils or paper and plod like.

michaellewisart

MEENA WITH HER DELEMMA

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 12

It was the warrior priestess Meena, Milkmaid to the Holy Cow of the Legend Dairy of Moo, who saved them.

The corny plod men had once been prime mates, looking to feed their families, so stole the golden milk of the Holy Cow.

The milk turned them into mindless slaves.

Their male descendants are also made to drink of the milk so that they too continue to serve the lost outpost of what was once the forgotten land of Amnesia, a mighty queendom that covered all of Valdeez Island, including the sunken city of Anchor Wot.

Now Meena and her milkmaid sisters udderly rule the Jungle of Bow Vines while the Plod Men are forced to go into auction at their very bidding.

It seemed to Hitch Ike that Meena led Rib Lee and the camera crew around in circles for days before they at lass came upon the women who attended the Holy Cow of Moo.

michaellewisart

THE SACRED COW

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY,VOL. 7, PAGE 11

In the car, Hitch kept muttering: ” Your next, your nix!”

Slowly on into Drunken, the whole sorted tale got told.

I heard how the expedition following The Red Key Strolls, an Amnesia hiking map, got held up by Captain Belay Pins, the buccaneer. even before they were able to leave Torntoga.

I heard how they had to leave half their supplies in Tatter’s, owner of the Sword Loser, the pirate pawnshop, just to get enough double loons to carry on.

Hitch told me about hiring Scurvy Guy DeReef, the pirate guild and how DeReef stole most of their food not long after crossing over the seventh vale.

Hitch Ike kept babbling about brooks of gum powder, where some crew members developed musket toes, about the fur flies and the giant three toed moths.

Then just when they were about to give out from thrust, they came upon the Fountain Of Truth, only to try and kill each other after the first sip.

He told me how they lived on cloves and wishes until they were attacked by a tribe of corny Plod People.

michaellewisart

CORNY PLOD PEOPLE

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 8

“Messy Recourse Goes Into It’s Third Week!”, shouted the Bench Press headlines the next morning.

Then two days later it was: “Randy Jim Keeps Casa Nova”.

“‘And you can keep Hoover, the butler as well!” screamed former Mrs. Hatrack, now Justa Fortune Hunter, “but I’m taking the show fur.’

Now half owner of the half owned by former husband, Randal James Hatrack, of the Lying Lunchman’s Mind, Ms. Hunter has taken a spenthouse suite in Gelt Glowers.”

Ginny Fizz, my granddad’s former weakend nurse from the Iceflow Care Home has moved into Casa Nova with her dog, Dipsy Poodle. to look after him.

Marion Hood is a maid once again.

This morning I noticed a bottle of Niagara,”The Drink That Stops The Falls”, is back onĀ  my granddad’s bedside table.

I still take he and Old Coot to the park but the James Boys aren’t the trouble they use to be.

No more stealing candy from babies while winking at their nurse maids.

Today Randy Jim said to me: “There’s no fire in the farts, my boy, my stomach can’t handle the spices.”

michaellewisart

AT HOME WITH HATRACK

 

 

 

 

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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 50

Lee Z. Gladstone now works for Fred A. Dare at Lee Z’s old shop now called Dare Essentials.

He does sales again for Suck-It Up Vacuums and represents Carpet Diem, “The Rugged Floor Covering”.

Gladstone told me, he got cautioned by Constable John for going door-to-door offering ladies half price on his English shag.

Lee Z. and I were sharing a Movie Special at Bunaventure Bakery,”Six Pies And Videotape”, but had to go since I was due at the Iceflow for a visit with Randy Jim and Lee Z. was due back on the streets.

“Theres a world full of suckers just waiting to be licked!” Lee Z. shouted as he banged out the door.

Door To Door

 

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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 48

“She was only a baker’s daughter but oh my how she could move her buns!”

It was Tuesday and I was in Banter’s when Lee Z. Gladstone came through the door.

Jitters the butler had been talking about a small ad in the Bench Press under Jobs Wanted .

“Hey Lee Z.’ I said “I think Tom Peeper is back in town.

Read this: ‘Unemployed voyeur looking for work as a window watcher’ ”

“Boys, things are rocky for the Gladstone” Lee Z. said, totally ignoring the paper business.

“What happened ?” asked Banter.

“Well I was out at the Debunk house, Goblin Gardens, figuring I could get the property off Weir for a song.

But the old fox left, saying his child gives all the business.”

Gladstone At The Debunk House

 

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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary. Page 44

Meanwhile on the deranged where everything was heating up, Princess Tantoes was stalking to the mad movie star.

Holly Bridgeair kept her finger on the trigger hidden in her coiffure, which was wired to her bazookas.

Tantoes asked the actress if she had brought any of her furniture on board?

“Why would I do that?’ asked the erratic Holly.

“So”, said Tantoes “that I could appeal to your vanity.”

“El Guyheed taught us to be above such things.”

But the Princess noticed that every time Popa Rotzzi, The Bench Press photographer, went to take Holly’s picture, she always gave him her best snide.

Flashbulbs And Bombshells

 
 

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