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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 8

“Messy Recourse Goes Into It’s Third Week!”, shouted the Bench Press headlines the next morning.

Then two days later it was: “Randy Jim Keeps Casa Nova”.

“‘And you can keep Hoover, the butler as well!” screamed former Mrs. Hatrack, now Justa Fortune Hunter, “but I’m taking the show fur.’

Now half owner of the half owned by former husband, Randal James Hatrack, of the Lying Lunchman’s Mind, Ms. Hunter has taken a spenthouse suite in Gelt Glowers.”

Ginny Fizz, my granddad’s former weakend nurse from the Iceflow Care Home has moved into Casa Nova with her dog, Dipsy Poodle. to look after him.

Marion Hood is a maid once again.

This morning I noticed a bottle of Niagara,”The Drink That Stops The Falls”, is back on  my granddad’s bedside table.

I still take he and Old Coot to the park but the James Boys aren’t the trouble they use to be.

No more stealing candy from babies while winking at their nurse maids.

Today Randy Jim said to me: “There’s no fire in the farts, my boy, my stomach can’t handle the spices.”

michaellewisart

AT HOME WITH HATRACK

 

 

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 6

Yet amidst all the grits and yammer, Eve seemed bored so I told her stories of my add dentures.

I told her about the summer Lord Vain, The Vegetarian Vampire’s uncle Noah, Count of Sham, arrived from Vulgaria and I solved The Mystery Of The Missing False Fangs.

The trip I took to Reclina to try and stop Lazy Boy Slouch from going to the chair.

I thought her radio show needed a few yuks, so I gave her some of  mine.

But Aimee and Delmon were jealous of my wit, telling her that even cows considered puns the lowest form of humour.

And on the show she seemed dogged by a voice that was no longer husky.

michaellewisart

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING FALSE FANGS

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 5

For a couple of weeks we, Aimee the secretary, Delmon Gangtree the show fur, and I went everywhere with her ripeness.

We had drinks at the Manhatted Club in Queensville City.

We had drunks with the Staggers in Port Wine.

We went to fancy halls.

We went to The Basket Ball in Basketune.

We went to The Slow Ball in Reclinea.

We threw out the first umpire in the opening game between The Sea Czar City Togas and The Drunken Louts.

We lost money at the snail races.

We did suppermarket openings, book sightings, and UFO shows.

We guested on Ida Clair’s radio show and The Wide World Of Wood with Uncle Oslo and Walter Ego.

We did a fun razor for a barbershop in Clowntown and a bed-a-fit for Nettles Furniture Store here.

michaellewisart

ON THE TOWN

 

 

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SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 28, TUESDAY MARCH 14 CONTINUED

It was after midnoon by the time I got to the office.

There was no one there doing wait training so I sent Helen home.

I was eager to try my skills with the Morris Cod.

There was goose soup a plenty to slurp on Casebook.

Dick Swab of Swab’s Drugstore has developed a new laundry cleaner.

In honour of Lady McDoom. he named it “Out Jam Spot!”

Knut Berry’s Nature’s Call Box is now carrying Dr. Salt”s World Famous Garlic Seltzer.

He is also running specials on Unplagiarized Mastodon Milk, Willet Fly’s Levitation Mats, UFO phone cards, At Home Egg Aspirators, and all Organic Bowling Balls.

New to his book selection is “What To Do At The End Of the World” by Revelation X. “How to Apply Magic Directly To Open Wounds” by Kandu the Magician and Grinwitch”s “Talking to the Dead Without Paying Long Distant Charges”.

Oh yes and the Suffer Jets have booked the Idlevice Hall for their annual “Get A Gripe On”.

Nature's Call Box

Nature’s Call Box

 
 

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