RSS

Category Archives: storybook for punloving adults

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 11

This morning my bookie, Simon Scriptner, came by my room, 2B or knock 2B, at the Harbour House to drop off my winnings from the running of last week’s Upsand Downs.

Jackie Odds and his racetrack trout, had proved suspiciously accurate with their tip.

I’d put all my kale on Skullcap to come in by a head and he had.

So this time I took the trout’s advice again and laid some hay on Lotto Lucky to win, Memory Spark to place and Flash Me to show, at this week’s Meadows race.

I figured after I gave Usher Falls, my landlord, his two weeks back lent and my preceptionist, Helen Wheels, her owed pay, I’d still have enough to buy a round for the boys at Banter’s

michaellewisart

THE PAYOFF

 

 

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 10

“Heaven is mad as Nell, she wont even speak to me”, Pete said the next morning.

“What do you expect, you’ve been ‘gone fishing’ since she was a fin.”

I drove him out to the Drasticvill Drive-In.

When we got out of the car, Heaven said: “Hey Sneaker, you’ve got something smelly stuck to your shoe.”

“Heaven, I’m your father”, Pete pleaded.

“My old man drown in a bottle when I was just a squirt.

What you are, is a ghost.”

michaellewisart

MUNCH IN SPECIALS

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 9

“I’ve seen things your pupils wouldn’t believe.”, Pete said like a scholar.

“Sea Servants off the shoulders of evening gowns

I’ve shipped out with sailsmen, played baseball with giants.

I’ve walked the Sands of Thyme.

I was fit to be tied just to hear the Sirens howl at Wolf Bay.

I’ve fought delirious treatments in the Decanted Forrest.

I’ve done every dive from Pearl to Scuba.

I was lost once but now I’m sound.

I want to come home Packet!”

————————————————————————–

All Laurel Lie said when I drove Pete up to the O’Dysseus place was:” You’ve been gone fifteen years, your dinners cold.”

michaellewisart

LATE FOR SUPPER

 

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 8

I’ve known Heaven since she was just a cloud.

Her old man had been my young friend.

I’ve done anything for Pete Skates.

He was my Nero.

Captain of the hooky team and the rebating team.

Handy in a grapple and smart as a quip.

Pete married Laurel Lie, the Home Slumming Colleen and they had Heaven.

Then somehow it all went to Nell.

Pete started hitting the throttle and one day he was just gone.

Thats why my flesh did the Australian crawl that night when I picked up the phone.

“Packit, its me Packit, its Pete, Pete Skates!

I’m with a bunch of bumsĀ  on the Bindlestiff, in the harbour.”

michaellewisart

HARBOURING THE BINDLESTIFF

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL 6, PAGE 7

All that is left of the wild open town of Drasticville, is its name on one of Sea Czar City’s least neighbourly hoods and on the Drasticville Drive-In.

I stopped for a Village Burger and a shake.

The burger arrived as a meal on wheels worn by Heaven Skates, who also gripped me for the shake.

“Whats poppin’, gumchew?” she asked.

“When will you wheel away with me and quit all the fries?”

“Money,” she replied “I like my rockers with hot rods and not on front porches.”

“Your one of the cruel kind.”

“Yeah, well I gotta roll, Rock, and don’t break my back with the size of your tip.”

After I finished rooting through my beer, I honked for Heaven to goose it over and detray me.

I asked her how her mother was and she said: “Oh you know Laurel Lie, still pining for some would that could.

Next time, don’t drive over yourself, it hurts!”

michaellewisart

MEALS ON WHEELS

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 6

Well the big day finally arrived.

The Church of Immense Retention was stacked to the laughters.

Eugene Portland on organ.

Revelation X barring the door with a bottle.

Pie Annie brought in her famous giant Connubial Blintz.

Lee Z. GladstoneĀ  was at the halter.

I was his second.

Smokey Jr. was coming down the while.

Nanette Touche’ was the Maid Upon Her.

The Reverend Mr. Amos Rant was deriding:, “Nearly Beloveds, we are gathered here under the sign of Cod, to sizzle these two in wielded bliss.

Should anyone here know the real reason these two should not be joined in mattress money, shut up!

Do you Smokey Banter Jr. take this retro bait in slickness and stealth, forgiving all past traveling salesman jokes and farmer’s daughters?”

“I do.”

“And you Lee Z. Gladstone, do you take this real steal estate saleswoman until wealth do you part?”

“I do.”

“You may now exchange the rings for saving stamps.

No?

Then by the power vest I wear, I now pronoun you Hushman and Strife.”

micjaelewisart

THE DONE DEED

 

 

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL 6, PAGE 5

As most people remember, Trench was on a work past, reading palms for a local harbourist but when the tree leafed, so did he

Red Rover, the retired Port Wine detective has dogged the dentist menace’s steps ever since.

It was the travel prone Rover who spotted the fleeing fiend while having a steak out from the Duckhouse in Chinablock.

He saw a masked figure clutching a teddy at the same moment he heard artist model, September Mourn scream: “He’s stripped me bear!”

Rover hounded the running toynappear onto La Stride, but lost him at the peer.

It was at that point that Ditchdigger Downs, Benchmark’s brother, heard a yelp and found Trench at the bottom of the new irritation canal.

michaellewisart

MEAL ON WHEELS

 

 
 
 
%d bloggers like this: