Monthly Archives: May 2011

What The Crickets Are Saying About Sea Czar City

Ann Slanders advises youth: “When it comes to Sea Czar City, just say no!”

The Gulp Island Medical Bunch says “Sea Czar City is clot provoking.”, while Prime Sinister Magnet Carter, says that: “Sea Czar City should have it’s finger pulled”.

Gillem Lakesnear, author of such classics as Richard The Turd and Gimlet, Quince of Hemlock said about Sea Czar City; “Never heard of it, it’s after my time.”

Lord Waters, author of A Light To Remember, says that “Sea Czar City should have gone down with the Satanic.”

Marquis DeSod, author of The Perverted Gardner, says “Sea Czar City, I don”t dig it.” While Batboy, U.F.O. reporter for The Natural Perspirer , says  “Sea Czar City? I think it’s all made up!”

Now be the first on your block to see what  the lack of excitement is all about. Catch it before it goes viral,while it is still a little headache and a sore throat. Subscribe now before some smelly bald guy comes to your front door saying he’s trying to work his way through fish school.

Sea Czar City the blog is now available, sold under the stench coats of any of your favorite numbers runners.


Be Sure To Tune In

Thus ends Sea Czar City Vol. I. Be sure to tune in next time for Pun Of Sea Czar City, where we hear Lee Z. Gladstone say:”She was only a mellon grower”s daughter…”

It’s a tale of daring don’t, gangsters, gals, vampires, spies, lies and randy Grandad.


Sea Czar City

The Sea Shanty


Page 39

When I called Jill at the iceflow Care Home, she told me my granddad had a see-Nile moment. He thought he was a POW in Egypt, stole Constable John Frame’s motorcycle, jumped the fence at the home and was last seen headed towards Bertha DeBlooz’s Tomato Patch, our local house of thrill reboot.

The Great Escape



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Page 38

I was in Banter’s the other morning picking up a copy of Saturday Evening Past, The Old News Magazine.  They are serializing the new Pearl Stanley Carder mystery: “The Unraveling Of The Sweater Girl’s Murder”.

Lee Z. Gladstone came through the door with: “She was only a baker’s daughter  but oh my how she could move her buns. Hey, Drydock, Helen Wheels is looking for you. Jill Fever called about your randy granddad.”

The Saturday Evening Past


Page 37

When Robin Archer, having served his time in Redlamb, returns to Sea Czar City, he brings with him a new trade. He goes into business with Pie Annie’s Bunaventure Bakery and builds a small factory out on Tundra Road.

He and his family now produce “Burglar Biscuits—-The Safe Cracker”.

When Marion Hood is released from Redlamb, she moves to Port Wine.

While in prison, she became pen pals with Sheaffer, the real Rubber Baron of Amnesia”s personal assistant. She is now head maid aboard the Baron’s “Forget Me” yacht.

Family Business


Page 36

Spil Lunker, the finder of Og, the caveman, tells people that the way Og feeds the birds in the park, he is definitely a crow magnet.

Spil helps Og leave Rib Lee’s sideshow and get a job of his own. Pop Sickle starts running the Nice Cream push cart during the summer for Bison Bill’s Dairy Air Farm.

Hortense Prim, the schoolteacher,becomes concerned when she hears that Og is carrying a large club and talking about getting engaged.

Looking To Get Married



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