Monthly Archives: March 2012

Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 39

“Hey, Cheaper!”

It was Cutless Kate, pirate captain of the Dolly Roger, pointing her blunder bust in my direction.

I had been of some servants to Kate two years before in retrieving the Treasure of Sarah Madtray.

Sarah was mother to Nix-Nix, Kate’s second in command.

“Peg Legg spotted you at the Swan Dive.

You had better pretend to be my prisoners, if you don’t want to be walking the plankton by midnight.”

The Scarlet Fever marched us out of The Pillage Square and onto Dingy Dave’s boat before Larson could quit being all fired up and start cooking for us.

Impressed On Torntoga


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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 38

I yelled “FIRE!”

(fear does that to me sometimes.)

Rascal turned his head just long enough for me to elect him chairman with mine.

Scoop let Zippo burp in  the face of danger, which set the curtains alight.

Scoop with the boy and I and the waiter Old Darrel Lick beat a hasty  pudding out the door and into the street.

Old Darrel Lick And The Pudding


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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 37

Rascal pulled his blade and pointed it at my shirt.

“Well that tears it!”, I said.

Scoop had the boy.

Darkening the galley entrance was Woof Larson.

He looked like a fit bull at a meat and eat.

“Let loose my crew!”, cut Woof’s bark.

We five froze a cemetery moment, trying to figure out the plot.

The boy didn’t look eager to return to Pap’s vice grip.

Scoop looked like he wished he’d taken matador lessons.

Rascal looked at me as though my name was Robert and it was shiskabob time.

Larson looked like his mind was crackling and his fists were hurry canes.




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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 36

I hastily set our status by buying two “I’ve Seen The X On Valdeez” t-shirts and a buckle locally swashed, when I noticed a small boy tolling Rate’s bell bottoms.

He was whispering that Mr. Rascal was needed in the galley.

“Thats him!” yelled Scoop “that’s the kid!

That’s Martin Even!” as he jumped towards the frightened boy.

Tourist Biz At The Swan Dive Inn


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Sea Czar City: From here To Infirmary, Page 35

While in Torntoga, I was itching to check out the flea market, but Scoop was set on one of us holding down a chair at the Swan Dive Inn.

He said someone had to keep a weathered eye on who might blow by.

At a buck an ear, we had corn for lunch.

Rascal Rate, the pelican and part-time barber of the hair-raising tavern, dropped two Valdeez tankards at our table.

They promptly spilled.

Rate asked if we be tourists there to see delights or agents sent to ransom some scone or hair.

Peg Legg Spots Strangers At the Swan Dive Inn


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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary. Page 34

My Keister was still in the sling at Piston Pete Utter’s U Auto Care, so Scoop and I took Cuss Pucker’s Blue Streak bus out to Wolf Bay.

I had a talk with Siren Sally, owner of The Flipping Tails.

She told me if Larson was going to trade with anyone, it would be the pirates on Valdeez Island.

We booked passage to the island with Dingy Dave.

The Flipping Tails


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Sea Czar City: From Here To Infirmary, Page 33

Scoop liked to quote his editor, Titus Ironicus.

Titus had apptforisms like: “Hope springs external in the humid press”.

“A bird in the band sings better than one on her tush” said Scoop.

I just sat behind my desk and watched him light up a Cree Tan with his ever-present mini dragon, Zippo.

Scoop rescued Zippo from the rubble of Grimm Castle on Haverown Mountain during the war.

Right there I knew, against my better nudgement, I was going to help the scribbler find his pen pal.



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