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Monthly Archives: January 2017

SEA CZAR CITY THE DIARIES, PAGE 37, MARCH 20, MIDDAY

I ┬áhad just walked in the door (ouch!) when my perceptionist, Helen Wheels said: “Keep your rain gear on Santa, this is going to slay you.

Something buggy is going on out at the Whiplash place.

Old Horace and his daughter Ginny have been drinking.

He’s throwing cats and she’s letting the fur fly.”

I turned around and was heading for that door again when Helen said: “And P.I.”

“Yes.”

“Take a pun, fully loaded.”

“Are you kidding?

You know How Ginny hates my jokes.”

“Yes, but I hear the old man keeps more than cigars behind his Humour Door.”

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DOOR TO DOOR VISIT

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 36,MARCH 20 LUNCH TIME

“Ah, Packet Inn,” shouted Lee Z. Gladstone when I loafed into The Deli Planet, “She was only a warehouseman’s daughter but oh my, how well was she stacked!”

I ordered a Mini Apple Plus and a Minute Soda.

Lee Z. started going on about Gus Guzzler: “The old soak fell off Crackatoea Mountain and tumbled dry.

They took him to the Abandoned Hope Hospital and now his brother, Gordon George, The Car Tomb Junkyard King, has refused to visit.

Like the big breasted bathing beauty in the too small bikini, they must have had a falling out.”

I asked Lee Z. if he and Smokey Jr. have set a date for their wielding.

“Yes Ol’ Glumshoe, February 14, Gal-A-Mine day.

Did I ever tell you of the time I worked as a door-to-door Puller Dressman?

Yes?

How about when I sold awnings and did charity work for the Venetian Blind?”

“Maybe some other dime, Lee Z. I’m off to the office,”

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DELI SPECIAL

 
 
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