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Monthly Archives: July 2012

HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 5

Helen Wheels met me at Warp Seed Harbour, when I arrived.

She introduced me to Kilo, Dr. Watt’s son, who had tried to capture the beast.

Kilo told me the hound has been digging holes all over the countryside.

It had even attempted to bury the harbour caretaker, poor old Deef Bones.

Hellhound And Bones

 

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HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 4

There was a phone call for me in the lobby.

It was Helen Wheels.

She begged me to come quick.

The Hellhound of Basketune had been let loose on the Moores.

Bringham Moore and his brother Karry  had barely escaped with their wives, Lotta and Annie.

Helen said the hound had been terra-raising all of Ripe Pillage for the past ten days.

Bringham And Lotta Moore Have Their Steps Dogged

 

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HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY. PAGE 3

I was having my morning Java Laddie, two shots of expresso, one shot of Old Jack Horner, in the Harbour House Hotel Cafe because Banter’s News Stand And Cigars was closed for the Rembrandt’s Day holiday.

Even my office was closed.

Helen Wheels had the long weekend off.

She was visiting her folks at Ripe Pillage on Basketune Island.

I was presnoozing the Bench Press.

On the Sports sage, Benchmark Downs confirmed the roomers that Jules “The Locket” Richair had moved to town to take over as Hooky couch for the Sea Czar Togas .

“Message for Mr. Hatrack” interrupted my amusings.

I looked up to see the new bell boy crossing the lobby.

“Here Bob Buoy” I said.

Java Laddie And The Snooze

 

 

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HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 2

Nothing much happened at the hotel.

They hired me for the insurance.

I still have my office.

I’m still a Private Guy.

Only now I can pay Helen Wheels, my preceptionist.

I can even afford business cards.

The Joker In The Deck

 

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HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY VOL.4, PAGE 1

As the man said: “Life is like britches, full of change.”

I no longer sleep on a Murphy sled in the closet of my office in the Wayword Building.

I have a real bed.

Kipper, my fish, has a real bowl.

The Harbour House Hotel needed a real dick.

And I’m it.

Going Down Warf Road

 

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NEW FROM KAN-TELL

We are happy to announce that the soundtrack from Sea Czar City has finally escaped and is in hiding at the Criminal Record in Sea Czar City, Little Boyce Blue’s Club in Smother Goose Landing and Club Mockery in Queensville City.

Hear Vera Thin’s rendition of “My Bunny Pal Of Mine”, “9-5, I Snooze” by Sunset John DePrairie, “Loot 88” by the Spice Rack Trio and everyone’s favorite, “Hatrack’s Theme by Eddie Monk and the Scream.

And be sure to tune in next week for Volume Four of Sea Czar City: “Have Pun Will Travel”.

Soundtrack To Sea Czar City

 

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