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Tag Archives: Humour

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.7, PAGE 23

“Being a Scarlet Sister isn’t really the way it once was,” Bertha went yawn.

“The culture has become pasteurized and thats not a bad thing.

Little Red Heidi Wood tried to unionize the girls a couple years ago, telling them that laying down on the job was no road to self respect.

I’m ashamed I stood against her.

She left and became a radio star with the Brazing Hussey cooking show and is now the author of two books: ‘Frying In the Nude’ and ‘The Little Red Book Of Meow’.

Bon Bon is set to open her own candy store in Gelt Glowers.

Carlotta Park has become a lingerie model for Vague Magazine.

Barbie Q. is selling her own grill on tv.

Bunny Ears is raising chickens for Easy Pickins.

Voodoo Doll snagged a clothe merchant.

Buckin Brenda has gone into social work.

Piggy Leigh already has two hit  singles, ‘Hog Mild’ and ‘Larry In The Sty With Desmond’.

Chilli Pepper, our piano man, now tickles the ivories at Colonel Corny Cobb Webb’s Girlique.”

michaellewisart

CHANGE OF PACE

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 20

“Fact is”, Kay continued “I now own the Mall.

We’ve got The Big Box Store, ‘Your one stop shop for all your large box needs’, The Fabricator, ‘With more bolts than just out of the blue’, a Gape, a Loots, and a Barsucks.

I’m telling you this because to Omitt, nothing on Gulp Island should exist.

He blames it’s decanted ways for all his whines.

I fear he has already started blowing things up with the Electra Complex.

You must understand his actions do not represent Muslins.

We are a gentle people.

We worship cloth and bowling for Alley’s sake!”

“A Muslin situation”, I told her, “should be handled by the millinery.”

But Kay Sarong-Sarong said that could fabricate a war.

She’d heard about my involvement with the move against the 8ers by all the religious leaders and of my dealings with the Grime Lords at The New Troll Hotel in Smother Goose Landing, so she’d decided I was tailor made for the job.

michaelewisart

THE HANSWOOD MALL

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7. PAGE 17

Hitch Ike kept mumbling about his delirious treatments and the fear that the Plod People were after him.

We pulled into an oddly quite Motalk Gas Station on the way back to Sea Czar City.

It was then I noticed a blank eyed character staggering through the breaking glass of the station’s door.

He was drinking from a sick pack of motor oil.

“That’s Gaffer, one of my crew!”, Hitch yelled.

“I told you they were near.

Drive like a gnat out of Nell!

They’re here! They’re hear!”

michaellewisart

GASSED UP

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 15

*Excerpt from “The Strange Case of Talon Of The Birds” by Lord Waters

“The baby was basketcase #1 left on the instep of Redlamb Prison.

It was left by a single parrot who could no longer care for the unusually strong toddler.”

…”Jade (the parrot) came upon the tike swathed but otherwise inert in a burned out ash troyed.”

“He (the child now called John St. John) constantly blushed due to his x-rated vision.

The first laws anyone noticed that he broke, were the laws of gravity.

The court declared John, Gulp Island’s one and lonely illegal alien and ordered him to remain behind the bar and grill of Redlamb Prison.”

“Since it was impossible to keep him locked up against his will, Warden Game decided to give his adapted ward his own set of keys to save on the where and care of the prison walls.”

michaellewis

PRISON FLYOUT

 

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.7, PAGE 13

How long they stayed in the land of milk and honeys, Hitch Ike had no idea but all the while he was taking reals of film.

Meena the swinger, Meena on the horn of her horse, Dilemma, Meena poolside drinking brown cows.

Hitch also began to notice that Rib Lee seemed desirous of rolls in the royal hey.

For Hitch Ike it was Kipling thinking that the man who would be king could ever be his adventurous pal Rib Lee.

He also noticed that his film crew seemed to be drinking milk with every meal.

Their eyes were getting that cheesy blue look.

They had become listless, carrying no pencils or paper and plod like.

michaellewisart

MEENA WITH HER DELEMMA

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 12

It was the warrior priestess Meena, Milkmaid to the Holy Cow of the Legend Dairy of Moo, who saved them.

The corny plod men had once been prime mates, looking to feed their families, so stole the golden milk of the Holy Cow.

The milk turned them into mindless slaves.

Their male descendants are also made to drink of the milk so that they too continue to serve the lost outpost of what was once the forgotten land of Amnesia, a mighty queendom that covered all of Valdeez Island, including the sunken city of Anchor Wot.

Now Meena and her milkmaid sisters udderly rule the Jungle of Bow Vines while the Plod Men are forced to go into auction at their very bidding.

It seemed to Hitch Ike that Meena led Rib Lee and the camera crew around in circles for days before they at lass came upon the women who attended the Holy Cow of Moo.

michaellewisart

THE SACRED COW

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY,VOL. 7, PAGE 11

In the car, Hitch kept muttering: ” Your next, your nix!”

Slowly on into Drunken, the whole sorted tale got told.

I heard how the expedition following The Red Key Strolls, an Amnesia hiking map, got held up by Captain Belay Pins, the buccaneer. even before they were able to leave Torntoga.

I heard how they had to leave half their supplies in Tatter’s, owner of the Sword Loser, the pirate pawnshop, just to get enough double loons to carry on.

Hitch told me about hiring Scurvy Guy DeReef, the pirate guild and how DeReef stole most of their food not long after crossing over the seventh vale.

Hitch Ike kept babbling about brooks of gum powder, where some crew members developed musket toes, about the fur flies and the giant three toed moths.

Then just when they were about to give out from thrust, they came upon the Fountain Of Truth, only to try and kill each other after the first sip.

He told me how they lived on cloves and wishes until they were attacked by a tribe of corny Plod People.

michaellewisart

CORNY PLOD PEOPLE

 

 

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