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Monthly Archives: October 2018

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 30

I told the time merchant my plan but confessed I wasn’t looking forwards, or backwards, to stuffing both Oldman and myself into Fly’s Teleport Booth.

“Hatrack, forget your hangups.” the old clock retearman said.

“You are about to embark in my new puppy.

A two seater with a look that will sleigh you.”

It did look like something horse drawn, if you happen to know a horse that can draw.

We climbed aboard, set the dials to our last visit and whiz, bang, there we were back in Baba Alley.

Oldman was sitting in the Five And Dine with his smoking jacket just recently put out.

“Okay”, I said, “before the deja view clears up and I take you home,  what is suppose to happen?”

“Home?

But you’ve already taken me home, dear boy.”

From the locked jaw look in his eye, I knew I’d never get him to buzz off from his B-girl again.

So I tried to get the mixologist, Sue Veneer, to take Connell’s seat and come away with me from the cash bar.

But when the Moona Leta lookalike refused, I did what any tourist would do, took her picture and ran.

It was only later when I got the painting home that I noticed the nervous signature of Lee Nardo Deflinchy.

michaellewisart

THAT MOONA LETA SMILE

 
 

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 29

It was a night of heavy drinking to get the B-sotted actor to stagger, with me, out the Five And Dine.

Somehow we went round the bend and found ourselves back on Wharf Street.

So now, like anyone else who has ever been down Baba Alley, I can only revisit it in my sleep.

Which is what I tried to explain to Oldman a while later when he called me to the  sitting room of his apartment at the Harbour House.

“Oh you’ll dream something up”, Connell said.

He said I had to, that he was haunted like a spiritless bottle that can’t be returned.

Maybe it was because he obviously hadn’t bathed in days but suddenly I got a “you reeka!” moment.

The next morning I used some ice cubes to hale Sheila Hack’s cab at its stand in front of the Harbour House and told her to take Oldman and I to The No Account Garage, and do it like chewing gum, make it snappy.

The No Account Garage is home to the Last Cab Company and resides behind the Wayword Building.

Ever since Willet Fly, inventor, western story righter and chief cook and throttle washer of The Tick Dock Travel Tours moved down to the main floor of the Wayword, he has rented out half of the garage for his workshop.

michaellewisart

FOR WHOM THE CAB STANDS

 

 
 

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7. PAGE 28

Oh yes, I’d had my Baba Alley daze and not that long ago.

It was on a case and not of Old Jack Horner.

Connell Oldman, the matinee idle, had been off set from “The Printer”, his new movie, for over a month.

So Follywood came calling.

I tracked Oldman to Chinablock and Baba Alley where I became a mazed and hit my head against a wall that went blank.

When I came to, three gets you four, I was at sixes and sevens.

I was in a twisty dream of a street with Baba Alley Books, Baba Alley Junk And Forgettables, The Fall Inn, Low’s Illusionarium and the Singaport Five And Dine.

It was in the eatery, I found Oldman, his reality ajar under the spell of a B-girl named Mason.

They were listening to the B. Giles Band, which I thought had disappeared years ago.

Then I saw her.

She was a portrait of the Moona Leta, as was the painting above her.

A mixologist, this Moona had grown bitter from spending her life behind bars.

michaellewisart

THE STREET OF NO RETURN

 

 

 

THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 27

Bendar Dundat, regression therapist and arch conservative, was found conserving arches from all over Sea Czar City in his debasement.

It was his seat that was sat on by Nobull Savage, Meadow Racetrack owner and head of the Cree Tan Tobacco Company.

Janitor, Ulysses Broom, turned out to be a closet 8er and not, when confronted, the least bit sweepish about it.

Secondhand Stan, the shop keeper, got Broom’s seat, after the brush off.

Oliver Fine, former owner of Fine’s Kettle Of Fish, got B.B. Wolf, the banker’s, goat.

Bertha DeBlooz finally ousted the Reverent Mr. Amos Rant over religious prosecution.

Bombay Sinj, the fire chief, was still hot with the voters.

Dr. Spot was Johnny on.

Dick Swab cleaned up.

Usher Falls stayed upright.

Gangster yes man, Hammond “Notting Ham” Rye lost his sheriff’s badge to Doghouse Brown”s brother, E. Vic Brown.

Mayor Major Miner somehow came back for a fourth term.

His son, “Figgy” Newton Miner, ran his father’s complain on his platform of closing Baba Alley, if only someone can find it.

“Baba Alley, you ever been there?” Lee Z. asked.

michaellewisart

THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 26

I’d just got to the fair and was relishing a footlong with cat soup and army muster at the Hot Hog stand when I heard: “She was only a rope maker’s daughter but boy did she know how to tie one on”.

Lee Z. Gladstone ordered a ham burglar with all the trimmings, or as the menu calls it: “Cheese it, its the crops!”.

We grabbed a table and shot the goose soup over the recent election.

Despite the recount, due to the voters list containing names such as A. Non Amous and Suta Nimm, it looks like the outcome will stand.

It was Scoop DeJour’s article:, “Crumbs In The Cookie Jar, Whose Been Dipping Into The Public Funs?”, that sent everybody back to the ballad boxes to sing again.

The huge sandal that booted some of the council out the door involved phone bills to call girls, playoffs in hotel hobbies, 8ers in Haul Street pockets and contracts awarded to the highest bitter.

michaellewisart

HOT HOG STAND

 

 

 

 

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