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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 6

Yet amidst all the grits and yammer, Eve seemed bored so I told her stories of my add dentures.

I told her about the summer Lord Vain, The Vegetarian Vampire’s uncle Noah, Count of Sham, arrived from Vulgaria and I solved The Mystery Of The Missing False Fangs.

The trip I took to Reclina to try and stop Lazy Boy Slouch from going to the chair.

I thought her radio show needed a few yuks, so I gave her some of  mine.

But Aimee and Delmon were jealous of my wit, telling her that even cows considered puns the lowest form of humour.

And on the show she seemed dogged by a voice that was no longer husky.

michaellewisart

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING FALSE FANGS

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 5

For a couple of weeks we, Aimee the secretary, Delmon Gangtree the show fur, and I went everywhere with her ripeness.

We had drinks at the Manhatted Club in Queensville City.

We had drunks with the Staggers in Port Wine.

We went to fancy halls.

We went to The Basket Ball in Basketune.

We went to The Slow Ball in Reclinea.

We threw out the first umpire in the opening game between The Sea Czar City Togas and The Drunken Louts.

We lost money at the snail races.

We did suppermarket openings, book sightings, and UFO shows.

We guested on Ida Clair’s radio show and The Wide World Of Wood with Uncle Oslo and Walter Ego.

We did a fun razor for a barbershop in Clowntown and a bed-a-fit for Nettles Furniture Store here.

michaellewisart

ON THE TOWN

 

 

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THE SHAGGY SAGA OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 7, PAGE 3

I put “The Big Creep” down when she wafted through the door with enough waft to make a blindman’s nose throw off it’s crutches and smile.

Eve Angelica has a radio show, “Profane Readings Of Sacred Tex”, every sunny mourning right after “The Braising Hussey”.

Her main interest is Male In Money.

She needs enough to build her “For Squares Hostel”.

She has a gossip choir that could give chills to an iceman.

Last I heard she’d been kid-napped.

In fact she always seemed to be kidding about napping.

She claims the last four abductions she had to arrange herself.

In other words, she’s up for grabs.

So I was surprised when she told me she needed someone she could bank on to feel safe.

She needed someone she could walk with, hand in hand, yet still feel harms apart.

I was beginning to feel flattened.

michaellewisart

EVE ANGELICA

 

 

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SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 9, TUESDAY, MARCH 6

At the office Helen told me a Say Nonsense has been set for a week this Thursday.

The 15th, the Tides Of March.

Helen brought me up to deed on Elizabeth Bareit Browntea.

She is a poet and performance artist.

She also, for a while, masqueraded as a first nations flasher, Princess May Howl.

But she was easily exposed.

She is also the inventor of the Bodice Zipper.

She now appears on Uncle Oslo’s Wonderful World Of Wood on the radio.

Its a kid’s show where she does the princess with a hand puppet called Dam Beaver.

On The Air

On The Air

 

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HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY PAGE 31

The radio announcer’s voice bounced through the bar:

“Good Leaving!

It’s K.R.A.S. broadcasting from high a top the Tawdry Building in downground Oueensville City with Rick Shaw’s Orchestra and the lovely Fan-tan Dancers.

Tonight’s special guess, that tough-guy tenor Tommy Gunn Boyle and Cinnamon, Cloves, and Ginger, The Spice Rack Trio doing their big hit :’ Apple Pie Yourself It’s Larder Than You Think’.

Also direct from The Cave Inn in Port Wine, it’s the flat faced hilarity of Joey Pratt Falls!”

Joey Pratt Falls And The Spice Rack Trio

 

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