RSS

Tag Archives: Cartoon

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 35, MARCH 20 CONTINUED

Got my Bench Press from News Niceburg.

The lead story was a shirt tale about SoHi of SoHi’s  Quality Tailoring.

Yesterday he collared a thief who tried to pocket the petty cash.

SoHi cuffed him right on the button.

SoHi seams none the worsted for wear.

Stopped at the U Auto Care to see if I could get my Keister out of hock.

Shifty Gears was working on J. Morgan Gelt’s new Ophelia 1600.

According to Shifty, those high price dreads lose their mortal coils after just a few hundred kilometres and should be shuffled off.

Shifty admits, if you pump him, that when he first started working on cars, he thought it was a gas but now he just finds it tiresome.

I drove to Soupermon”s Deli Planet for lunch.

U Auto Care

U Auto Care

 

.

 

Tags:

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 28, TUESDAY MARCH 14 CONTINUED

It was after midnoon by the time I got to the office.

There was no one there doing wait training so I sent Helen home.

I was eager to try my skills with the Morris Cod.

There was goose soup a plenty to slurp on Casebook.

Dick Swab of Swab’s Drugstore has developed a new laundry cleaner.

In honour of Lady McDoom. he named it “Out Jam Spot!”

Knut Berry’s Nature’s Call Box is now carrying Dr. Salt”s World Famous Garlic Seltzer.

He is also running specials on Unplagiarized Mastodon Milk, Willet Fly’s Levitation Mats, UFO phone cards, At Home Egg Aspirators, and all Organic Bowling Balls.

New to his book selection is “What To Do At The End Of the World” by Revelation X. “How to Apply Magic Directly To Open Wounds” by Kandu the Magician and Grinwitch”s “Talking to the Dead Without Paying Long Distant Charges”.

Oh yes and the Suffer Jets have booked the Idlevice Hall for their annual “Get A Gripe On”.

Nature's Call Box

Nature’s Call Box

 
 

Tags: , , ,

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 4 MARCH 5 CONTINUED

Donny had been a near child when he and his sister, Shelay Lee with the club foot, had to move in with their Uncle Foggy.

Foggy inherited his dead sister-in-law’s titles, so lorded it over the children.

Foggy kept them in his work house in Basketune’s New London Town.

Foggy was a wastrel and soon lost his title to Waters, author of “A Night To Dismember…The Sinking Of The Satanic”, in a floating crap game.

The Fortune was slowly poured away on women, whiskey and bad businesses.

Foggy bought into both Jack Beanstalk’s Seedy Company and Gladys Gorgon’s Reptile Ranch, where he hoped to find Al Kemmy’s Philosopher’s Bone.

IMG_5507                                                            CRYING UNCLE                                                                          

 

Tags: , , , ,

HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 22

It was a hard story to tell the Mean family.

I doubt they will ever understand.

Still, life like a painting, had gone on in Sea Czar City, while I had been away.

Jitters the butler told me J. Morgan Gelt was upset because Jules “The Locket” Richair, our new hooky coach, has been teaching Gelt’s French maid,  Nanette Touché, the art of and Gelt is afraid she will never come back.

Seems Gelt was in his classic Tizzy, being driven all over town by his chauffeur, Jod Spur, last night looking for her.

Sarah Bellem, the mermaid who teaches math at the school of mermaids and inventor of the algae bra, has been expecting her auntie Bellem to arrive any day now, on a southern current.

And Camera Sly is finally marketing his “Prophetic Polaroid” (Take Tomorrow’s Pictures Today) for all those that want pre-runs of next summer.

Lost And Wound

 
 

Tags: , , ,

HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 21

“Well, hurry up with the unbounding” I said.

“My pleasure.

We were just waiting for you to come around.

You were on the ground, flaying about, so we figured you were fit to be tied.”

That night I ate pleasant under grass, watched the stares, and tried not to listen to Barley hollering: :”Raiseus rumpus, my Hootus Maximus!”

In the morning, Willow Wisp, a woodland spirit currently at war with the Scardate Logging Company, lead us out of the Wilds.

Looks like Gain Gus Con, the owner of Scardate wants to leave those creatures gnomeless.

I think I may have to have a talk with him about some of his clearcut ideas.

You Can’t Go Gnome Again

 
 

Tags: , , , , , ,

HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 19

When I came around, the first thing I saw was Barley, duck-naked, flapping around the fire with as savage a brood of femaleus nakedus as I had ever seen on the covers of “Men’s Friction Magazine”.

The women were throwing boxes of papers on the blaze.

The boxes were marked “Haul Street”, so I figured I was witnessing one of the Wild’s famous bond fires.

It was at that moment, I realized I was bound to watch and started to feel like a mean course.

Bond Fire

 
 

Tags: ,

HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL: SEA CZAR CITY, PAGE 18

On the morning of the third day, we stumbled upon a krupa of wild drum beets, or as Knowitt refers to them, “Vermilionus Spudus Boombooms”.

Barley told me to pick them because nymphs prized them for their rhythm

That night we cooked up a big pot and it wasn’t long after my first couple of sips of the bubbly brew, that a wild pounding started in my ears.

It was then that my first ever nymph, Anna Meeta Mustscaria, appeared right before my lies.

The last thing I remember before blacking out was Barley shouting::”Femaleus Hottus!”

Not Mushroom Left

 
 

Tags: , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: