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ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY VOL. 6, PAGE 4

That is what brought me to the Gulp Island Police Station to interview Officer Penelope Nickers.

Nickers had been working underwear as a waitress at Wing’s Duckhouse in Chinablock.

Officer Nickers had nearly barged into the Clipper sailing away from the scene of his last victim left sockjawed on the sidewalk.

The victim was one Jane Erred, a wrongway agent employed by Handbasket Travel.

Missing two teeth, Ms. Erred had gotten one hell of a belt while struggling with the fiend.

The belt turned out to be from a white overcoat.

On checking the condition of the other victims, it soon became the child of a parent. that each was missing a tooth.

“Of course the biggest clue,” I said to Nickers, “is the belt.

It has his name all over it!”

The China Clipper was none other than that recent Redlamb escapee, Doctor Trench, the Mad Dentist from the Erie Canal.

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THE CASE WAS A SINCH

 

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 3

“Mr. Hatrack”, SoHi continued, “The last few days I’ve felt as stalked as celery.

Remember I was the one who found the Dump And Grind Coffee House waitress after her mugging.

I think her assailant thinks I can make an initial I.D.

I think Nack The Clipper barbered my tea,”

“And I’m worried about my girls P.I.”, Taxi Dancer cut in.

“You’ve got to do something.

Nothing is jake, its Chinablock.

Baba Alley is right behind the dancehall.”

(The dancehall is in the old Row’s Cannery building on Harbour Drive.

Henchman bought it with money from the Zucchini brothers after Late Nate Row moved operations to the other end of the bored walk, known as LaStride.

People still say, “Lets go dancing at the cannery”.

But mostly they go just to hear Taxi holler, “Hello Tootsie, Hello Pop, Welcome Sailors All!”.)

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PEEKING GATE

 

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.6, PAGE 2

SoHi looked so low in his single at the Abandon Hope.

His daughter, Wing-Ding was by his side and looked as though the whole situation had thrown her.

“Mr. Hatrack”, SoHi said “I think some dope drugged my drink and it all has to do with Chinablock.”

Thats when Taxi Dancer waltzed into the room.

Taxi is half owner, with her ex-boss Henchman, of Henchman’s Music Academy, a Dime-A-Dance hall on Harbour Drive.

She nodded to the Bench Press under my arm.

“Read the Grime Section yet?” she asked.

“No” I said and opening up the paper.

The headline was “China Clipper Strikes Again!”

Nack the Clipper mugged yet another woman last night coming out of the China Closet next to Baba Alley, then disappeared into Fogtown.

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KEPT IN STITCHES

 
 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOLUME 6, PAGE 1

michaellewisart

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND

The first time I set lies on SoHi of SoHi’s Quality Tailors, I told him what he did didn’t suit me.

Now here I was taking my first ride on our new Holly Trolly out to the Abandon Hope Hospital to see how he was faring.

SoHi had taken Weaving Road out of Drunken when he hit a patch of asphalt coated in oil and barely skirted around a log, ending up in a ditch, hemmed in by two trees and blanketed in needles that ended up giving him a spool of stitches.

I was thinking about progress as we bumped along the tracks.

Willet Fly says that soon everyone, not just prisoners, will have cell phones.

Airplanes will become Airfancy.

Men will quit aping monkeys.

Then my eyes fell back, once again, to this mourning’s Bench Press.

michaellewisart

THE MOURNING EDITION

 

 
 

BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT TIME

There is more Private Guy adventures coming in Alas, In Wanderland, Sea Czar City, Volume 6.

See the Bribe and Gloom and their Wielding.

Watch for the cowboy minotaur and a mermaid in the harbour.

Its cops and rubbers, rats to riches, ghosts who date, a rink panther and a French Slapper, all twelve Fan Tan Dancers, 8ers and the arrival of CoCo LeClair.

And boys and girls, have you missed any of your favourite Gothic Comics like Horror Hotel or Army Aunts?

Do you have every issue of Just Us Heros featuring Cawman and the Pigeon?

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Remember when Cinderloo and Tug Ghoat opened a lemonraid stand?

IMG_5601 Did you read the hare raising episode of Alone Danger when he rode to Rabbit Ranch hidden in the box canyon known as Cardboard ?

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Well they are all here for the asking. Just send your dimes to Sleet And Hale Publications, Sea Czar City, Gulp Island, inside the Bikini Triangle and hope for the rest.

 

 

Just

Just

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 54, FEBRUARY 10

This morning Helen Wheels, my perceptionist, says to me: “One I don’t get boss.”

“Yes.”

“Well last week, during the Gearstart affair, you said with the Mother Bored destroyed, there is no way anyone else can leave Gulp Island.”

“Right.”

“Then how did you, a few tears back. during ‘The Case Of The German Shepherd Crook’, get to Cuba and home again?”

“That” I told her, “is a story for another pay.”

michaellewisart

THE COP OUT

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BUT NOT QUITE 

 

SEA CZAR CITY, THE DIARIES, PAGE 53, FEBRUARY 8, THE DAY WEARS ON

I tried talking cents to the Bribe.

“Why do you want anything to do with this old bit of leaf jerky?

Its not as though he he has any kale.”

“Lettuce not be too sure.” she replied.

Thats when the whole inedible story came out.

Years ago the sponsor of Sgt. Singer Of The Mounted, Dreaded Eats Cereal, started giving away good deeds to small pieces of The Lying Lunchman”s Mind.

The dream was that if Hudson Day, the lost spectre, ever did find his claim, kids all over Gulp Island would get a chunk of the action.

Well it seems my randy granddad has been buying up and collecting those bad deeds for years.

Now by his own estimation, he has stocked to the max.

And what with the Lunchman’s Mind having been found, Randy Jim is Rich Randy Jim now.

michaellewisart

HAY KIDS

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2017 in storybook for punloving adults

 
 
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