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ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 6, PAGE 33

For a chorus of 8ers, they became oddly composed.

It was then I noticed they were getting surrounded by a group of Hidawhy and simple sizers.

In fact No Bull Savage was talking to each 8er in turn.

When I asked him what was going on, he said: “Just separating the assets from the asshats, P.I.

These jokes, like the best of you, are undoctormented ingrates.

So we’ve decided to decant a few back to the nearest port.”

“You can’t do that,” one of the Nasty parties said, “no one can leave the Bikini Triangle!”

No Bull looked the bird in the eye until he quailed.

“Like stopping water, we can dam well do as we please.

There are no boarders for original land lords.

Tomorrow at this time, you’ll be refuse with, gee, no papers coming from some place no one has ever heard of, and all depending of the kindness of rangers.”

michaellewisart

BUM VOYAGE

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 6, PAGE 32

It was decided by all fates, that we would present a united font and poster up tracks railing against the 8ers.

We also decided to include Holly Bridgair, former Follywood star and Guyheed terrorist.

She had been released early from Redlamb for being on odd behaviour.

She wanted to take her electric personality on the lecture circuit in hopes of promoting her tell-tall tale: “Brainwashed By A Money Launderer”.

When the conference ended, we filed out like prisoners going through the bars.

Outside we were met by a small, but yokel, group of 8ers.

There were signs.

They read;”Don’t Wash Whites With Colours”, “My God Can Whip Your Clod”, and “Bigots Arn’t Small”.

Shore enough, the sun of a beach at the head of the sinch mob was the Axes first lady, Decieva Bronze.

michaellewisart

THE SINCH MOB

 

 

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 6, PAGE 31

It was the Pop, leader of the Cattle Licks, who came up with the idea of holding a conference of all the religious leaders at the IWW Hall.

No Bull Savage gave the opening payer.

In attendance with the Pop, was the Reverent Mr. Amos Rant  of the Chrisdons, Rabbit Niceberg of the Chews, the native Sayman, Ill Eagle, the Bootus High Heel, Dally Comma, Pun’s Used Harlot, Bell Adonna, Lief, Son of the Birch,  Jinni Brown, a mysterious creature no one had seen before, as High Priestess of the Cindoos, Sinj, our fire chief, for the Seeks, Brother Gooda, Grand Formage of the Quackers, Confusion of the Confusionists, Signbad the Tailor for the Muslins, and for us 8 Theists, Darwin Scope.

I became very defensive telling people I was an 8 Theist not an 8er.

Most of us were shocked to find out a lot of the 8ers were made of the Black Art inspired Neo-Nasty Party.

There was even a roomer that Decieva Bronze, Black Art”s Pair-A-More was the behind of the whole thing.

michaellewisart

OPENING PAYER

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 6, PAGE 30

Mostly we just respect each other’s reliefs.

I, myself, was born a Chrisdon, then became a Confusionist, tried Quackerism, but am now an 8 Theist.

I carry the sacred symbol of the vacuum on my keychain.

Our Queen is a Peg Ann.

Our Prime Sinister is a Bootus.

And our Mayor is a Chew.

So it was a shock to see the sign of the Black 8 on the doors of the IWW, the International Witch and Warlock hall Saturday morning.

Unfortunately, since the end of WWII and the incussaration of Black Art and Rabid Hatt, there arose a pretty smelly group of 8 Theists calling themselves just 8ers.

When I saw that mark of the Neo Nasty Party, I knew some Axes were intent on starting WWIII.

michaellewisart

SIGN OF THE 8

 

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND. SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 6, PAGE 29

Most Gulp Islanders are Chrisdons, waiting for Chris to show up, but in the meantime, worshiping his sister the Abandoned Nell.

There are also the Cattle Licks who worship cows.

The Peg Anns worship Peg Ann and her son, the Great God Pun.

The True Eds broke off from the Peg Anns and went to pray to Gerry the God of Oaks.

We have Seeks who revere searchers.

Muslins, worshippers of fine cloth.

Cindoos, who bow to old movies.

Bootus, supporters of the down trodden.

Quackers who worship cheese.

Confusionists who don’t know who to believe.

Chews, who are mulling it over.

8 Theists who worship nothing, in all its forms.

And Finally the Hidawhy who consider the whole island sacred and everything on it.

They were very kind to the first white people to arrive because they believe in Host Dances.

michaellewisart

HOUSING THE GODS

 

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 6, PAGE 28

Tokyo Toes told me August wouldn’t be back until way past New Fears Day.

He was down island picking up his malt teas from Falcon Black III.

She whispered in my ear that if I had had any hair, she would gladly run barefoot through it.

Just then the postman rang thrice, to tell us he had seen her cat playing in the burned out fireman’s haul across the road.

I told her I’d go get it.

She said:” Don’t go to any rumble for me!”

I could tell we’d gotten in a little too steep and she was steamed.

I had to get out of there.

There was too much to tempt us in a teapot.

michaellewisart

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS NICE

 

ALAS, IN WANDERLAND, SEA CZAR CITY,VOL. 6, PAGE 27

I decided to drive the stolen I Scream truck back to Sea Czar City.

I could return it to Alred Glitchpot the I Scream King.

I thought I would stop in Jokarama Harbour at Max and Wayne Moon’s cousin’s place, “The Teahouse of August Moon’s”

August is always good for a bottle of Hot Stocky and I like flirting with his girlfriend, Tokyo Toes.

I got a Beth Lee Ham Sandwitch in a French crescent ( a Moon speciality).

Tokyo played “St. Andreas Don’t Fault Me” on her Japanese Lier.

michaellewisart

ST. ANDREAS DON’T FAULT ME

 

 
 
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