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THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 19

Zenda, the stave girl, told me Nix Nix, the Sarah’s son, would deliver the barrels on his next trip to the city.

So now it was the treasure stove.

I knew shooting craps with Tatters was a dicey affair but that was his offer.

Pirates love gambling more than looting so if Bishop wanted to put up Knight’s Three and a boy to shoot against Jacob’s own Fast Teddy Feltsom, for the hot plate gold, he might have a steal.

When I got back to Sea Czar City and told Bishop the set up, he was  chess overjoyed.

I suggested Bishop try to obtain the services of Sleeve McLean, The Chintzanatty Kid,

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ZENDA THE STAVE GIRL

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 18

Now the pirates of Torntoga have a treasure stove that resides in the kitchen of the Swan Dive Inn.

It was hauled from the galy who cooked on it aboard the Gorgonzola when the cheesy ship was scuttle butted by the gossipy Blackboard.

Over the years there has been many attempts to hijack the hot appliance.

I asked Nipps about the stove and the probability of purchase.

He’d told me before, that once it hit land, it was no longer for sail.

I knew that Arch Bishop, owner of Cantorberry Rail burned for that stove for his new home, Knight’s Three and I figured he’d pay a pretty penny, even in ugly quarters, to get it.

Surprisingly, Nipps told me to meet him at the Sword Loser, the pirates pawnshop, after I got my barrels.

He said he’d talk to Jacob Tatters, who runs most of the deals on Torntoga.

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A PAWN HIS WORD

 

 
 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.8, PAGE 17

There was a silence so thick, you could cut it with a knife and serve it in wedges.

Then suddenly a naked: “Who Raw!” went up from the cluster of sea rowers.

Well the pirates let Magnet Carter go and I only half believed him when he said later that it was all politician promises and not worth the caper I had ridden in on.

I decided to stick around for the Unhung Day festivities and was having a Barnacle Brew at the Swan Dive Inn while I waited for the Stave Market to open.

I figured I’d pick up some oaken dagger barrels for the Grapes Of Math Vinery.

Nipps, Cutless Kate’s nabbin’ boy sat down across from me and said he had a rare signed copy of the classic “Peek House, The Amorous Adventures Of Alover Copafeel”, hot off the tresses of a sleeping beauty who doesn’t snore lightly.

He also had a paperback copy which I could more easily afford, so had him sign it instead.

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CHECKING IN WITH MY BOOKIE

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 16

Magnet Carter was in Pillage Square on the gallows above the high spirits and low gowns of the clench mob.

“Me hoardies!”, Carter’s bell tones rang out “me fellow rogues and thieves, you pie rats, you skull kings, you scurvy pile of sign winders, do you think its your job to be the fall guys for the Gulp Island gallows of justice?

No, says I, leave that to the pious and the plea bein’s.

You should be the barkroom boys, not seadog seizers!

Politics is where the booty is buried.

You should be relieving the public coughers, not merely trying to sell  such a ransom lad as I to the highest kidder.

Why do you suppose the gallows are humoured here but not in Basketune or Mount Treeall ?

Its the same reason a pillory and chains stands on Haul Street.

They want to remind us that this is the end for bad bankers and brigands.

Well no more says I!

No more hangings say I!

Not another pirate, no nor even a Candyhouse Fiend will go chicken gibbets after today!

I declare this, Unhung Day!

I commute the witchy cannibal’s sentence to life, baking in the Redlamb Prison!”

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THE END OF HANGUPS

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL.8, PAGE 15

“As we weave our way through the looming Cliffs Of Rover, into Seadog Bay, we spy the distinctive dark timbers of  Blackboard Warf”, to quote the guide book.

Blackboard Warf (or Woof as the local dogs call it) is the misspelled legend overhead in honour of Edward “Ed” Teacher, Blackboard The Pirate.

Disembarking on the Woof, along Killdare Dock, I saw both the Dandy Pucker and the Dolly Rodger at anchor.

Separating myself from the boys and ghouls, I panted up Howl Road, passing Deadhead Jib Cutty’s Poolroom and A. Hoy’s Noodle Palace.

The Barnacle Brew was flowing like tresses at the finally repaired Swan Dive Inn.

Already I knew Magnet Carter wasn’t going to be hard to fine.

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HEADED INTO TOWN

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 14

I woke up in bed with a fishy lady named Moll Flounders and a sangover from listening to too much Siren Sally.

I grabbed a quick shower, left a fin on the bedside table for crab fare, and headed to the bar.

I needed a nip of Doghair Bitters to toughen my bark.

When I got plenty of cold down stares in the lobby, I realized getting to Torntoga was going to be a sneeze.

The Flipping Tales was boiling over with bubbly sham painers.

A wrong weekend had been declared and no art lover was going to miss a good hanging.

The Candyhouse Fiend kicking up her final heels had brought car owners out in droves.

They had even chartered the Love Craft to get them to the lurch on time.

michaellewisart

THE NOOSE CRUISE

 

 

 

THE TRAVELS OF SEA CZAR CITY, VOL. 8, PAGE 13

Seems the only people awake to the Sinister napping, was Sleet And Hale, Carter’s book publisher.

They thought the tour might not be such a trip without him.

So I was retained to free him.

It wasn’t going to be easy now that Cutless Kate and French Kris (The Mast) were stole mates  again.

I took Cuss Plucker’s notorious Blue Streak Bus into Wolf Bay where I stopped at the mermaid saloon, “The Flipping Tales”.

I talked to Siren Sally and she told me, she had seen both the Dolly Roger and the Dandy Pucker the night before heading for Torntoga.

It wasn’t going to be easy to find someone so deathless unafraid to follow in their wake.

So I decided to sleep on it for a night, have a couple pints of Barnacle Brew and see what might wash up on the sure.

michaellewisart

SPENDING THE NIGHT FOR THE HALIBUT

 

 
 
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